Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
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