super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
