I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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