Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
True college students do jello shots in the library
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
