I could have mohawked her pubes.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
