Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
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