remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
