I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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