he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize