she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
