Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I wish there were birth control emojis
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize