Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
operation have a gay friend backfired
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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