Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
