I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
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