dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
i was born a porn star she said
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Randomize
