but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
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