the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Randomize
