Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
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