i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
