That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
