i may or may not be watching the land before time
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
