hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
