For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I need moral support for this bender
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
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