my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
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