Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
