Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
