people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
So I just went to clothing optional bar
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
