He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Randomize
