I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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