SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
