my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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