I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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