Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
