I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
