Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize