oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
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