he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Im part way to drunk.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
