She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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