Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
