so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
