Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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