i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize
