So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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