You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Randomize
