please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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