im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
