i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
