weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
