I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
