are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I pour the whiskey from now on
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
