matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
