we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize