I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Randomize
