you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize