so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
