people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Randomize
