I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
