im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
