i think my tv is drunk
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
