yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
