she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
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