Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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