whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
