I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
