Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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