I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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