Where did you get a picture of my penis
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
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