His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Randomize
