Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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