I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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