Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize