That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
