but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
