of course. lets lasso hookers.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize