i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
