Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Randomize
