Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
no you cant smoke seaweed
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize
