i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Randomize
