Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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