i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Randomize
