There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
So much rum. So many feels.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Randomize
