so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Randomize
