that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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